It's time to alter the assumption that a mother doesn't want to spend time with her children...

"I bet you wish they were in school!"

True story...

While out on Friday with the Home Ed group, we went out walking the trail in the nature reserve looking for harvest mice and their nests. We came across lots of other walkers, many of them speaking to the kids involved in our little group. Bear loves chatting to people and is always polite and tells them all about what he is up to. We were on our way back after our expedition when we came across an older gentleman who stepped out of the path to let us pass, and as we did, he said to us, "I bet you wish they were in school," with a laughing at his own joke kind of chuckle.

Now, anyone who knows me will know that I'm not the most tactful of person when faced with a situation like this, and he ruffled my feathers rather quickly bearing in mind he hadn't so much as said hello before uttering his statement. My snap response was quite a rude, "No, no I don't, not in the slightest," and I kept walking.

The other mum that I was walking with was a part of this too, and we both talked about how it's a shame that the general opinion from others is that mothers don't want to spend any time with their children. I'm not even really sure what this guy's meaning was, bearing in mind he didn't say anything else. It was bitterly cold, so maybe he was talking about us being outside, but that was my choice to take them out... Maybe it was because there were so many of us, in which case, how did he know that we weren't a school group? Or maybe it was because my boys, and the other two children at the front of the group with us, were too young for school, and he was making the very incorrect assumption that we were counting down the days till we could send them away.

Well, it's about time the world stopped making that assumption. I had my children because I wanted them, and I am incredibly lucky to be in a position where I only have to work part-time so that I don't have to leave them with a childminder or at a nursery. That's my choice. I made the decision to home-educate for many reasons, but one of them was very selfish in that I didn't want to have to give them up for six hours every day and only get them back for the last few hours a day when they were tired. Having to fit all the adventures I wanted to have with them into weekends and school holidays. Again, I am lucky that the life I have allows for this, and I have the support of my partner and my family around me. My choices.

I hate seeing parents posting to social media about how they are counting down the days of the holidays until they can send the kids back to school. Complaining about having them in the house and all the things that they can't get done because they're parenting. How about enjoying every precious moment that you do get with them? They'll be grown before you know it and off living their own lives. 

I hate how much society makes it seem like parents should be happy to send their kids off to school every day. They break up for a holiday and the world around them is already counting them back, by ways of what shops are selling, adverts on TV about Back to School, and schools themselves that send enough work home to keep children busy rather than allowing them the space and freedom to enjoy some time with their families.

The whole world seems insistent on the idea that a mother shouldn't want to spend any time with her children and it is wrong. I had my boys because I wanted to be a mother and I wanted to raise them and spend time with them. And I can guarantee that the majority of other parents out there feel the same way. So why are there so many people who believe we just want to get rid of them all the time? Why does society make us feel like we should be counting down the days till school starts again? Why do people put posts on social media to the likes of this? 

It's time to change the opinion!

I love spending time with my boys, and although we have our bad days, not once have I regretted my choice not to send Bear to nursery. Not once have I considered that I have made a mistake choosing to home-educate, and not once have I wished that I could send them somewhere other than where I am... I love my boys and I want to be with them... Is that really too hard to understand?

I am aware that this post will ruffle a few feathers, so why not drop your comments below, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Mama Bear x