Mother Culture

Mother Culture, from the home education perspective, is based on a Charlotte Mason approach where the mother needs to care for herself to ensure she has enough energy to look after her children. Basically, it's about ensuring that you fill your own cup, so that you can fill those of your children - you can't pour from an empty cup and all that!

It's about making sure that in a busy world, you carve out a little time that's just for you... which isn't an easy thing for any parent to manage, but even more so for the home-educating ones, as we spend all day, every day with our children.

For me, I stick to quite a strict bedtime routine with my boys that has them both in bed before 8pm. The littlest is fast asleep long before then, and Bear stays awake a little longer, but does it in his room and stays in bed. The time after they've gone to bed is my time. Two nights, occasionally three nights a week, my partner is out, which means I really do get them all to myself. 

During the evening, I try to get 'chores' done on certain nights so that others are totally mine. I clean, tidy, and manage home ed plans as soon as they're both safely in bed, and then after a shower, my time is mine and is normally spent chilling and watching a little TV with Daddy if he is home before we go our separate ways to do our own thing. And on nights that I am home alone, more often than not, you will find me writing or reading, as those are my biggest passions. Sometimes I watch a movie and crochet or colour on nights when I'm solo, if I'm really tired or just don't have any drive to write.

I recently took up running as a hobby too, something I did pre-motherhood, and try to get out once or twice a week, in an evening, after the boys are in bed and Daddy is home to be with them. I'm hoping to turn this into swimming/gym time over the winter, as I don't want to be out running after dark. I have just completed the Couch to 5K program, and just a few days ago, managed my first 5km run!

Other than the evenings, the only other time I'm really away from my boys is when I go to work for two days a week. Which, in some ways, is okay as far as time away from them, but it's not exactly a break as I'm busy working and traveling all day.

When Daddy is out gigging, I like to try and get to the most local ones as I love seeing him play. I was at all of his gigs before we had the boys, and I do sometimes miss being able to go and see him play. To go out, I have to rely on having someone to come watch the boys, which isn't as straightforward as it sounds. As I imagine is the same for anyone.

I have an amazing friend who occasionally watches the boys in an evening so that I can go out for date night with my partner and I have had the odd evening/afternoon out with a friend or my sister when he is available to stay home. But to go out at the weekend when he's home means that I miss out on the small amount of time we get to spend together as a family. It's all a very hard line to balance.

However, five and a half years into motherhood, and the stage we're at currently, where the boys are always bickering, I am finding myself needing some time to myself. I'm hoping to organise a few friend dates and some time with my partner, I just have to find the right way to do it so that I don't need too many babysitters!

How do you get some time to yourself? I'd love to hear how it works for you and your family.

Mama Bear x